A common way my life coaching clients (aka must of us humans) experience confusion is when we get caught in either/or scenarios. We try to stuff our complex emotions and needs into tidy boxes. We take sides and aren’t able to hear all perspectives (inside ourselves or with others). Our fear keeps us from owning all of who we are because then we might not fit in or feel safe.
Clarity comes from spaciousness–the willingness to hold a curious and open mind/heart to the often conflicting feelings and needs that come from this human experience. I often invite coaching clients to hold an “inner committee meeting” where they allow the multi-faceted voices inside to dialogue and be heard. Wholeness isn’t tidy. It is the ability to be ALL OF WHO WE ARE, including our shadowy parts, our fears, our beautiful desires.
Carl Jung said, “The paradox is one of our most valuable spiritual possessions…only the paradox comes anywhere near to comprehending the fullness of life.” We can be both longing for connection and needing to know we have autonomy. We can be both ready and terrified to make a change. We can be good enough and very, very imperfect. Through holding space for the illogical both/and that lives in paradox, we can find more clarity and ease.
Coaching is a powerful conversation where we allow all aspects of self to be seen and heard. As we know, change can only come from awareness. And it takes a big deep breath, self compassion and courage (feel the fear and do it anyway) to shine the light of awareness into the places we haven’t been willing to explore yet. It is very worth it!