“I know that will never happen for me,” my client said dejectedly as she described her dream job. “He never listens…I doubt that will ever change,” huffed another client about her husband of 10 years.
My good friend Rev. Susan Leo once said “certainty is the opposite of faith.”
I think she meant that when we think we know exactly what something or someone is, we lose our ability to trust in the mysterious and ever-changing nature of most everything. Our fixed version of reality rarely holds all the possibility that exists.
Doubt can actually be good, especially when it comes to limited ways of thinking. It can create room for exploration and for the kinds of questions that can open doors. Doubt is even helpful when you have an overly positive certainty because it allows you to creatively prepare for potential obstacles.
Doubt can actually inspire deeper clarity.
I describe clarity as the inner knowing that allows you to see to the heart of the matter. That is hard to do if you are clinging to your false notions of what something is or isn’t. The tighter you hold on, the more energy you expend.
Take a moment to think about a challenging area of your life where you feel absolutely certain. What would be different if you allowed some doubt to come into your awareness?
Maybe that person isn’t always going to be so difficult. Maybe they aren’t even as difficult as you assume right now. Whether you are struggling financially, feel stuck in an unfulfilling job or relationship, or convinced that you don’t have what it takes to create the life you secretly crave, loosen your hold on certainty and you will create more possibilities.
Clients often come to coaching hoping I have the answers to their problems. Thankfully (whew) I do not! If I did, they would depend on me rather than themselves for clarity.
What I do offer is trust in yourself: that if we ask the clarity-inspiring questions and pay close attention, the answers will always come. And they do. Time and time again.