This week I received an email from a discouraged career coaching client who didn’t get the job. From her words, I could feel all the self-criticism and hopelessness that she was feeling. I am sharing with you my email pep talk because it applies to you (and me) too when things don’t go the way we had planned.

“YOU PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE! You should feel good about the work you did to get your resume and cover letter and application in shape. It was a difficult, even painful experience, and you did it!
In order to SUCEED, you have to fail first. This is just a law of nature. Trying means risking. Risking means some failure. Failing means we learn something and if we try again, we have the chance to succeed.
YOU CARE. The fact that you are bummed shows that you wanted this job. Remember when you were terrified they would even call you? Remember when you weren’t sure you wanted to work in this field again? The feeling of being bummed is a clue that you need to keep aiming for a comparable job…this is your clarity speaking.”

I hope you take these words to heart and go put yourself out there for something you care about and want too. The act of staking your claim (and risking losing) is the only way you will move forward. And if you don’t get what you want, apply liberal doses of self-compassion…and try again, learning from the experience!

For some inspiration, read this article about all the famous people who failed before they succeeded! Walt Disney “lacked imagination,” Thomas Edison was called “too stupid to learn,” Actress Carey Mulligan was told she had no talent, and NPR radio host Terry Gross was fired from her first teaching job. Now they are highly respected in their fields.