Did you do the self-limiting beliefs exercise in Part I? If so, what did you learn about the thoughts that limit you and keep you stuck?
The good news is that these thoughts are in your mind and you are the one that gives them power and meaning! That means… you can change them! As a matter of fact, you are the only one who can!
Through a powerful process of inquiry that doesn’t just work with your conscious mind, it allows your deeper consciousness to participate as well.
Step 1: Identify the thought or belief. A common one that comes up with women is: “Taking care of myself is selfish.”
Step 2: Ask yourself: How does this thought/belief make me feel? Thinking that taking care of yourself is selfish is likely to make you feel resentful, tired and cranky. Every time you have an opportunity to rest or nurture yourself, your mind tells you that you should be productive or that someone else needs your attention. If you follow that self-limiting thought, you are going to burn yourself out and not be very fun to be around!
Step 3: Consider: Where did this thought/belief come from? Perhaps you had selfless female role models who never took time for themselves (and maybe made others pay for it later). You might get this idea from cultural beliefs about the way women or mothers should act. Maybe you have a deep feeling of unworthiness that says that you have not earned or do not deserve to take care of yourself. Often women come to the deeper self-limiting belief that says: “I am not worth taking care of.”
Step 4: Be curious: Is this thought/belief 100% true? Does self-care automatically equate selfishness? Most women that I know who are worried about being selfish are the ones who are so committed to their families, work or community that they give and give and give… Selfishness is being so concerned with yourself that you never think of or care for the needs of others. True self-care is simply being in balance: caring for yourself and others!
Step 5: Shift it! If the self-limiting thought is not true, what would be a more honest thought/belief that also reflects your values? Of course you want to care for others and you truly need to take care of yourself so that you have love and attention to share. A new thought might be: When I take care of myself, I have more to give to the people and activities in my life!
Step 6: Take action! What can I do that reflects my new thought/belief? Self-limiting thinking is addictive and we have formed habits that correspond with these thoughts. In order to truly change them, you have to be willing to form new habits. If you are committed to taking better care of yourself so you have more to share with those you love, you might finally listen to your body and start going to yoga. Maybe you are going to let something go that you have been doing out of obligation. Or perhaps you will take some time each week to paint, dance or practice your favorite musical instrument. Chose something that nourishes you!
Transforming self-limiting thinking will change your life and relationships. And, you are doing it as much for those you love as for yourself. When you are not willing to buy into limiting thoughts, you inspire those around you to question their own. If you are a parent, you will be teaching your children to think more positively.
Leave a comment and share what self-limiting thought/belief you are shifting!
[…] And, if you want to re-frame the self-limiting thoughts you tell yourself regularly, read my post about it at Nurture Life Coaching. […]
[…] The good news is that limiting beliefs are all in your head. You formed them at some point because they kept you safe but they aren’t serving you anymore. By acknowledging and questioning them and then finding more supportive ways of thinking, you can override this autopilot in your mind. Read more about transforming limiting beliefs. […]