For the past several months, I have had the honor of being a teaching assistant for META’s Interpersonal Skills Training. I have learned so much from this profoundly healing personal growth series. This past weekend, we did an exercise that I would love to share with you. I have modified it to better fit with my own coaching approach.
1. Make a list of as many of your own needs, desires and “shoulds” as you can in about ten minutes. Sort them into the three categories.
2. After you have sorted them, get curious about why they are in the category they are in. What makes one thing a need and another thing a desire? What distinguishes a need from a “should”? How do you know it is really a need?
3. Now, answer the following questions about as many of the needs, desires and “shoulds” as you would like to explore more deeply.
- If I get or do this, then I feel…
- If I don’t get or do this, then I feel…
- I attain this or make it happen by…
- I limit or block this by…
- Some of the more basic needs that underlie this are…
What did you learn?
Photo by jpstanley, shared via flickr
For me, I learned that it is very helpful to recognize the needs that feel necessary for my own growth and well being, the desires that can make life more sweet and the “shoulds” that drain my energy. Awareness creates more choice. And choice…that is freedom!
