I have a favorite exercise from the wise Martha Beck that I like to use with clients to help them gain more clarity around decision making. Martha calls it the “Shackles On, Shackles Off” exercise.

Here is my personal adaption:

1. Bring a memory to mind of a person, experience or place that makes you feel relaxed and open. When you are with that person or having that experience, you feel completely free and receptive, like anything is possible. How does your body feel as you focus on that memory? What mood or emotions do you feel? What do you believe about yourself and the world when you are in this state? This is your SHACKLES OFF feeling. Memorize it. Give it a clear word or image association so you can “dial it back up” as needed.

2. Bring a memory to mind of a person, experience or place that makes you feel contracted and limited. When you are with that person or having that experience, you feel stuck and held back. You might even feel a hopeless. How does your body feel as you focus on that memory? What mood or emotions do you feel? What do you believe about yourself and the world when you are in this state? This is your SHACKLES ON feeling. Give it a clear word or image association so you can “dial it back up” as needed.

3. Now imagine a decision you are currently making. Take plenty of time exploring each side of the decision as if you were choosing that option with certainty. So, if you are considering moving to New York or moving to Seattle, first pretend that you have decided to move to New York. Mindfully study the feeling of choosing New York. Does it feel more like the Shackles On or Shackles Off state of being?  Do the same for Seattle. *I hope I don’t have to tell you to choose the Shackles Off option*

This exercise is amazing for tuning into the subconscious to gain deeper intuitive clues to what is in your best interest. Remember that your inner wisdom always knows what is right for you…but your mind often gets very confused and overwhelmed when faced with options that seem to have an equal number of pros and cons or carry so much perceived risk that you just shut down completely.

When we keep choosing Shackles On over and over in life, we aren’t thriving, we are just surviving (and often not very well). We lost the brilliant Maya Angelou today and in her honor, I will add her voice:

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” -Maya Angelou