Cyanide, Happiness and Biscuits!

Photo by lensfodder, shared via flickr

People often come to life coaching wanting to change the circumstances of their lives: they want a more fulfilling job, better communication in their relationships, improved health, ect… In a nutshell: they want to be happier!

In our work together, they soon discover that happiness is not about what happens and that it can even be somewhat dangerous to their well-being to make happiness depend on the right job, relationship or finally achieving their health goals.

Are you wondering why? Isn’t that just what they are hiring me to help them accomplish?

Circumstances are transitory and depending on them for happiness is a fragile way to live. It can leave you exhausted and anxious from trying to hold on too tight.

In my years is supporting people in having more joyful lives, I have learned that happiness is an attitude. It is inspired, not by what happens, but by who you are being in relationship to what happens.

I have witnessed clients realizing their own strength and wisdom in dealing with some of the most challenging of situations. I have seen them shift perspective from fear to choice even when the options once felt limited. And I have been awed by how gratitude can create a lasting happiness that has nothing to do with happenstance.

And the irony is that life situations do react to our inner state of being. The more joyful and centered we choose to be, despite difficulties that arise (and they do), the more life seems to align in our favor.