Most of the clients that come my way for life coaching are longing for more clarity. They have a nagging sense that something is missing but aren’t sure what it is. Or, they feel certain about what they want, but don’t know how to manifest it. Sometimes, they just feel an overall sense of confusion about their life direction and need support in sorting it all out. But, no matter what the perceived “problem”, when they gain more clarity and insight, the a-ha moments inspire big change!
One of the biggest obstacles to experiencing clarity is fear. And I don’t mean the healthy kind of fear like reacting to a snake crawling up your leg. The kind of fear that blocks clarity shows up as self-criticism (a harsh inner voice), assumptions based on past painful events, fault finding in others, over- focusing on all the possible negative outcomes…you get the picture! If you have a normal human brain, you do all of those things too.
In life coaching, we use curiosity as the antidote for the kind of fear that keeps you stuck. When you are in a state of curiosity, you are more open, expansive and willing to see all the possible options. As a matter of fact, it is very difficult to be overly critical or paralyzed by fear while in a curious mindset because you are using a different part of your brain! Think about the inquisitiveness of a child as they are encountering something interesting; likely they are engaging playfully instead of anxiously.
Here are some curiosity-inspiring questions that you can use to shift into a more expansive mindset when you find yourself blocked by fear:
- If my body could speak, what message would it be giving me?
- What else could be true besides what I am assuming?
- If I was (insert the name of someone you respect), how would I approach this situation?
- What is the most loving way I can view myself (or someone else) right now?
- What do I really care about here?
Let me know what you discover!
I agree being open to possibilities is important. I think we are all created for a purpose. When we find that purpose we find fulfillment. I don’t think it is hard to find. I think too often we have been told what we should do instead of figuring out what we should do. Being open to possibilities is a great step in the right direction. You can see the approach I use at http://wantalifecoach.com. Thanks for your thoughts.